BreakUps, MakeUps, and WakeUps: A 2017 Reflection
We made it ya’ll. 2017 is coming to a close and we’ve endured a lot this year. Things like our childish president, rumors of wars, more police brutality, and church-house murders just to name a few. BUT, we’ve also seen the glow up of brown girls like Issa Rae and Cardi B that gave us a little hope that everything is gonna be alright.
Last Wednesday I was getting my weekly fix of The Friend Zone podcast, because who in the hell wants a musty brain. During the show, Fran asked her co-hosts, Dustin and Assante, to answer some reflective questions about 2017. Their answers were hilarious and thoughtful which inspired me to reflect on my year in the same way.
I normally take this week between Christmas and New Years to go over the past year and set goals for the new year. I wanted to complete this in my journal and leave it there, but there are some things that God has placed on my heart to share with you. I’m not sure why or who it’s for, but my hope is that you gain something from what I’m about to say. So thank Him, not me lol.
Biggest Life Lesson in 2017?
Your healing is your responsibility. You can’t rely on others to heal you, even if they contributed to the pain. I broke up with a lot of things this year. Two jobs, my ex, old habits, and dead-end relationships. This was very hard and very painful. There have been many nights where I would cry myself to sleep and replay situations in my head over and over again. This led me to a very dark place. I blamed everybody else for the pain that I was experiencing, and I wanted them to make me feel better. I had it all wrong. I learned that the only way I can begin to feel better is if I took matters into my own hands and do the work. So I began practicing self-care. Not the kind that is glamorized on social media, but real self-care. The kind where you are journaling for hours to clear some space in your head, the kind where you listen to encouraging podcasts to get you through the day, the kind where you run the beltline until your legs feel like jello because you desperately need a distraction from reality. I did so much research on healing and in all of my findings, I’ve concluded that the success of the healing process is, ultimately, up to the person dealing with the pain. Like when you break a bone, the doctors can prescribe medicine and give you some exercises to complete, however, it’s up to you to take that medicine and do those exercises consistently. While painful to learn, this a lesson that I will take with me for the rest of my life.
Biggest Lesson You Learned About Yourself?
I learned that I have to take full advantage of alone time. Taking time to recharge is crucial for me to be able to function properly. I used to be a person that could go, go, go, without any need to be alone. But, I now understand the importance of having me time. Time to just sit and watch Netflix, go shopping by myself, or time to walk my favorite trail. Having me time has created a much more happier, healthier, and grounded version of me.
Something I accomplished this year that I am most proud of?
Relaunching my blog. This was no easy task. I struggle with being vulnerable and transparent and I feel like the only way to have a successful blog is to be both of those things. Initially, I didn’t want to start it because of thoughts like “people are going to judge me” and “who am I to talk about topics on culture, lifestyle, and wellness”. I would compare myself to other bloggers and think that I wouldn’t measure up. So I had to have a talk with myself and remind me of who I am and the experiences that I have. I also had to remind myself that blogging is not about me, it’s about the readers and the impact that my words have on them. Once I brought that to the forefront of my conscious, it all made sense. I had no choice but to relaunch.
Something that I didn’t accomplish this year that I’m going to accomplish next year?
Losing. This. Weight.
Simply put, it has to go. Don’t get me wrong, I love my body. However, I’m serving an eviction notice on this tummy lol!
What did you do in 2017 that made it a stronger year than 2016?
I stepped out on faith like never before. By doing this, I had to rely on God like never before too. I left two jobs in 2017. I know, it’s not the most “responsible” thing to do and it could possibly take a toll on my career, but I’m not afraid of that. Long story short, those two jobs had toxic environments that didn’t serve me at all. I knew that I wasn’t supposed to be in those places and I took those jobs for the wrong reasons. I fervently prayed over each decision, received confirmation from God, and decided to do my own thing anyway. Lesson learned: God’s way is much better than mine.
I left my last job without having anything lined up. Again, not the most responsible thing to do, but God told me to move so I had to. I know some of you won’t understand this, and will probably think it’s sound crazy, but I am at a place in my life where I feel it necessary to exercise radical faith moves. The kind of moves that don’t make sense to the world, but makes all the sense to God. So far, He has been taking care of me and I haven’t lacked anything. I saved up enough to cover me over the next couple of months and He’s still providing for me on top of that. Has it been scary? Yes! But I have faith that God will bring me to a new position that is just right for me and one that is in alignment with His will for my life.
Overall, was 2017 good to you? Were you good to 2017?
2017 owes me nothing. While I let go of a lot of things, I gained so much more. Things like peace, pure joy, enriched relationships, clarity, vision, strength, and purpose. Also, I treated 2017 well. I didn’t accomplish everything that I wanted to, but I adjusted my goals along the way and kept going!
Getting Ready for 2018
Time and time again you’ve made long lists of goals and things you want to accomplish at the top of the new year. I want you to take that list and throw it in the trash. Often times we overwhelm ourselves by creating these lofty goals that are unrealistic to reach. I’m not saying that you can’t be ambitious, but that you can get more done by doing less.
What I want you to do for 2018 is to simplify your lists of goals into one word. Take one word that describes all you want to accomplish this year and let that be your focus for 2018. Last year my word was commit, and the year before that, discipline. Whatever I set out to do, I made my “one word” my focus. Did I fail? Sure. Did I accomplish some goals? Absolutely. You have to approach your goals with ease and simplicity and not be afraid of failure.
My word for 2018 is Clean. What’s yours?
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