Let's Play How Many Times Can You Forgive a Cheater
By now, I’m sure we’re all privy to the whole Cardi B and Offset situation. If you’re not, I’ll try my best to sum it up in a couple of short sentences.
Cardi and Offset got married.
Offset cheated on Cardi...multiple times.
Cardi forgave him and continued the marriage...multiple times.
Cardi announced that her and Offset are filing for divorce.
Offset made a post on IG apologizing to Cardi.
Several celebrities encouraged Cardi to take Offset back (mostly male celebrities that have also cheated on their wives multiple times...follow me here)
Offset interrupts Cardi’s Rolling Loud set to say “I’m sorry bruh”
Do I think Offset is a bad guy? Nah. Do I think he’s truly sorry for what he did? Sure. But at the end of the day wrong is wrong is wrong is wrong. AND toxicity is toxicity is toxicity is toxicity. A true apology is usually coupled with changed behavior, and at this point I think Offset’s grandiose gestures may be a little too late for Cardi’s liking. He probably should have had this energy from jump. Anyways, I’m not about to deep dive into what they have going on because 1) It’s none of my business and 2) We don’t know all of the details, only what they put on social media.
Instead I want to talk about why we stay in toxic situations that we know are no good for us. From what we know, Cardi endured a lot of infidelity in their relationship and now, sis is at her breaking point. I believe she made a bold and courageous move by loving herself enough to not put up with Offset’s cheating ways. However, there are some of us out here that stay in toxic situations for various reasons. I’m not here to judge or shame, just to shed light. I want to point you in the direction of things we say (that we may not be aware of) that perpetuate these toxic environments.
But I can see the good in them…
You may need new glasses sis. And then, we justify this sentiment even further by saying “well, nobody’s perfect so I may as well make it work”. No ma’am. Either they are a good person or they’re not. If you have to dig to “see the good” in them, 10 times out of 10 they’re not that great.
But I’ve invested so much into the relationship…
We place things like time, money, and other obligations above our worth and our sanity. I don’t care how much (_____) you’ve invested into the relationship. Simply put, if it’s unhealthy for you stay, then you need to leave.
But I don't want to start over with someone else…
This is what I like to call “settling”. The work it takes to get out of a situation oftentimes outweighs the work that it takes to stay in it. Yes, it’s hard and can be emotionally taxing. However, being lazy about your relationship life yields mediocre and toxicity. Yes, starting over is not easy however, staying in a bad situation is not worth it. Do the work.
Well at least he’s not….
If you ever have to say “at least he’s not” or “at least she’s not”...you know you’re in something that you shouldn’t be in. Again, you’re settling. Set some standards and stick to the them. I’ve heard it all. Things like “well I know he’s talking to other girls but at least he’s not having sex with them.” Girl. Come on now.
I get it. Sometimes it’s hard to just leave. There may be other factors in your situation that won’t allow you to leave that easily. Things like kids, housing arrangements, etc. All I’m saying to you is that if you’re in a toxic situation, get out.
As always thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post or if it resonated with you in any way, let me know in the comments below. And while you’re here, go ahead and subscribe to my blog so you can stay up to date on every post.