For When You're Wearing Nike But You Just Can't Do It
Let's jump right in. Here's 3 reasons why I can't accomplish some of the things I set out to do. Maybe this will resonate with you, maybe it won't, but I have a feeling that I'm not alone in this. I had to do some serious digging to figure out why it's so "hard" for me to (1) set a goal, (2) work towards it, and (3) actually achieve it. I see people do it all the time on social media, so I figured hell, I can do it too. Like, people are out here losing crazy amounts of weight, starting successful businesses, traveling, etc. Well, if it were easy I wouldn't be writing this post. I know full and well that any goal you set out to accomplish takes grit and hard work to achieve. I'm also aware that it's a marathon and not a sprint. Aaannndd I know that it's an uphill battle and not a smooth walk on the beach. I know this. However, even knowing all of this, I still manage to set mad goals at the top of the year and barely accomplish any of them.
I mean, I set my "one word" for the year, I map out an action plan on how this year will be different than the next and blah blah blah. I continue to bring the same Jasmine into the new year, and that same Jasmine set those goals...then that same Jasmine will yield those same results. I had to do the work. Ya know, some soul searching/being brutally honest with myself/praying/journaling...you know the drill. I had to ask myself the hard questions and here's what I came up with
I just can't do it because...MENTAL BLOCKS
Things like negative self-talk, made-up stories, and comparison has (and still does) prevent me from accomplishing my goals. I've set goals like losing weight, starting a business, running a blog site (chile), and getting back into dancing just to name a few. For example, when it came to starting my blog, I looked at other blog sites and began to question my content (comparison), having thoughts like " nobody cares what I have to say" (negative self-talk), and telling myself that you have to be a certain type of person and have a certain amount of followers in order to have a successful blog (made-up stories). You see where I'm going with this? It's all in my head. Like Auntie Myleik says, feelings are not facts. I gotta learn to have tunnel vision when it comes to producing this blog and achieving my other life goals. Can I look to other people for inspiration? Sure. However, I have to rely on the fact that I am fully capable and fully equipped to do WHATEVER I put my mind to do.
I just can't do it because...PROCRASTINATION
Or really because perfectionism. Let me explain. I am a (self-diagnosed lol) perfectionist. I'll allow some things in my life to kinda go with the flow however, most things have to be perfect or I will go crazy. I'm also a Virgo. I don't really get into the zodiacs like that, but they say that Virgos are perfectionist. Which makes sense because we have Beyonce...and she's a Virgo...and perfect. Anywho, like I was saying, if things aren't perfect, I won't participate. Basically, if I can't see success as the end result I won't start it or I'll try to put it off for as long as I can. Can you relate? I'm sure you can. But what's the fun in living life if you don't make a mistake or two? And if everything in life was perfect, life would be mad boring. I'm learning how to fall face first into my goals and passion projects with reckless abandon (word to Datwon).
I'm learning how to accept failure and imperfection as a part of the process. Even writing it down in my action plan as a necessary step. A fear of failure shouldn't be a reason to hold off on your dreams. Just because everything is not "in order" does not mean that I should put it off. I just have to start anyway and believe that although I may not have everything, I have enough to start. For example, using my blog again, I almost didn't relaunch it back in October because I didn't have a super cute website, branding, logos, etc. However, I had a laptop, some WiFi, a domain, some content, and a sorta-kinda somewhat- established social media account to promote on. I had enough, but my inner perfectionist was trying to tell me other wise. Start the task, keep doing it, gain momentum, fail a little bit, keep going, and watch the goals unfold before you.
I just can't do it because...LAZINESS
Ok, I'm not actually a lazy person. I don't think any of us are. I think the root of the issue is a lack of self-discipline...which leads to being lazy. Follow me. Has there ever been a time when you had hella things to do and you just didn't "feel" like doing it? I'm sure you have. Usually, it starts with knowing that you have something major to accomplish, then you look at your task list and get overwhelmed. After being succumbed by your lofty to- do list, you decide that you would just rather not do anything...and then go to sleep.
It's really hard for me to do things when I don't "feel" like it. Such as working out, writing blog posts, cleaning up, being productive at work, cooking, etc."People" say that if you are really passionate about something, you'll work really hard at it...even when you don't feel like it. I beg to differ and I don't think that's realistic. I don't care how passionate someone is and how much of hustler they are, I'm 99.9% sure that there are days when the most successful person would rather lay in bed and do nothing. But, the difference between the most successful person and the not-so-successful person is this....the more successful person is not going to make excuses for their feelings. They're gonna get up and do what they gotta do. No excuses. The antagonist to productivity and self-discipline is called laziness. And it's sidekick? Your feelings. WE have to push past our feelings and just do it, even when we're not feeling it. That doesn't make us less passionate about our goals, it just means that you're human, and we all have our days.
So, here's to laying down those excuses, getting rid of negative self-talk, and letting go of perfectionism. We got this.