Some Of Ya'll Ain't Giving Yourselves Enough Credit And It Shows

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Lean in, sis. I know you’re not where you thought you’d be right now. I know life’s coming at you fast and you’re trying to juggle a million and one things. I know Sallie Mae has been on yo neck. I know you haven’t started that side hustle yet. I know you wish you were further in your career. I know you thought you’d be married (with kids) by now. I know you thought the weight would be gone by now.

I know. I know. I know.

Right now, I’m giving you permission to take one deep, cleansing breath.

For one second, I want you to sit back and consider all of the things that are oh so right with your life. If that’s hard to do, then you’re probably battling with some form of perfectionism. Yes, it’s a thing. Look, I’m nobody's therapist but I’ve experienced enough of this life to know how perfectionism shows up.

Perfectionists usually...

  1. Don't give themselves enough credit

  2. Find it challenging to speak about the good things going on in their lives

  3. Overly-criticize themselves

  4. Procrastinate on projects because everything has to be “just right” before they get started

 
 
Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. in fact, it’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.
— Brene Brown
 
 


Be Gentle With Your Words

Now, I’m not saying that you can’t analyze your life and point out areas that may need improvement. I’m just asking that we show ourselves a little more grace and compassion in the same way we show it to others. You wouldn’t tear down your best friend with words like “you could really be much farther in life than you are”. No! You would instead say “You’ve done so many amazing things girl, don’t trip off of what you don’t have right now.” Keep that same energy when you’re talking to yourself.

Stop those negative thoughts dead in their tracks. Will they come up? Yea...like the plague. But don’t allow them to stay for long. Next time you look in the mirror and think “ugh, I’ve gained so much weight, I look gross” instead, gently thank your body for all that it does for you. Thank your chubby stomach for housing all of your vital organs. Thank your thunder thighs for walking you around today. Thank your flabby arms for the ability to support your hands while you’re holding your phone and reading this blog post. Simple thoughts of gratitude can drastically transform the way you view yourself which will ultimately transform your life for the better.

 
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Beware of Comparison..she’s a bad one

But..I also want you to be aware of another thing that causes us to beat ourselves up...and her name is Comparison. She works hand in hand with Perfectionism and will leave you feeling like sh*t if you’re not on top of it. Comparison’s playground is social media, and more specifically, Instagram. We can all touch and agree that people’s Instagram feeds are highly curated and only represent a very small percentage of who they actually are. However, even though we know that, Comparison still has a way of making us feel like we’re “less than” when we see so and so’s posts about their new man, their new job, their 5th vacation this year, their new body, and a host other things.

Again, we defeat this by stopping the negative thoughts as soon as they pop up, and gently remind ourselves of all the amazing things we are. To take it a step further, I would also suggest blocking, muting, and unfollowing as needed. Some of us spend too much time on social media anyway (Jasmine) but that's another sermon for another day.


Now, understanding how perfectionism and comparison works, I want you to know this to be true…Nobody has it all figured out…Mistakes are a vital part of the journey…You’re doing a whole lot better than you think you are.


Say this with me (and say it witcha chest)

I am beautiful.

I am loved.

I am complete, lacking nothing.

I am capable.

I am resourceful.

I am doing my very best, and that’s worth celebrating.

 
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